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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and we are always mindful regarding memorable lavatory incidents and milestones, particularly within football. What a delight it was to discover that Big Website columnist a famous broadcaster owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet at his home. Spare a thought about the Tykes follower who took the rest room rather too directly, and needed rescuing from the vacant Barnsley ground after falling asleep on the loo at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “He had no shoes on and couldn't find his phone and his hat,” elaborated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And nobody can overlook during his peak popularity with Manchester City, the Italian striker popped into a local college to access the restrooms in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then entered and inquired directions to the restrooms, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered round the campus acting like the owner.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday represents 25 years to the day that Kevin Keegan resigned as England manager post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle alongside FA executive David Davies deep within Wembley Stadium, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. As Davies remembers in his diary, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room immediately after the match, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams energized, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies discovered him collapsed – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Crawling with television reporters. The dressing room? Heaving with emotional players. The bathing section? I couldn't conduct an important discussion with an England manager as players dived into the water. Merely one possibility emerged. The lavatory booths. A significant event in English football's extensive history occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The approaching dismantling was nearly palpable. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I'm leaving. I'm not capable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I cannot inspire the squad. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Consequently, Keegan quit, eventually revealing he viewed his stint as England manager “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It’s a very difficult job.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley restrooms and those twin towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. Thomas Tuchel’s side are among the favourites for next year’s Geopolitics World Cup: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Real-Time Coverage

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We represented Europe's top officials, premier athletes, inspirations, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina inspected us completely with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures referees were previously subjected to by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Soccer Mailbag

“What does a name matter? There’s a poem by Dr Seuss called ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been removed from their positions. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to manage the main squad. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now you have loosened the purse strings and distributed some merchandise, I have decided to put finger to keypad and make a pithy comment. Postecoglou mentions he initiated altercations in the schoolyard with youngsters he expected would overpower him. This self-punishing inclination must explain his option to move to Nottingham Forest. Being a longtime Tottenham fan I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning near the Trent River, if he remains that duration, is the second tier and that would be a significant battle {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|